****my story contains many details you may not find entertaining, but I wrote it for Genevieve and I to have her story, not for entertainment value :)
I woke up at 2:45 am and felt contractions. I wasn't really surprised, as this had been a nightly experience for an entire week. Occasionally they would get stronger or closer together, but once I got up and moved around, they would stop. I actually thought I was in labor the Sunday night a week before. I had woken-up Zach, we had put all of our stuff by the door and were ready to wake Juniper once the contractions were "to that point" to go in to the hospital, but, then they stopped. So, at 2:45am on February 3rd, I got up and walked around. I looked at some things on my phone. But, the contractions didn't stop. I went back to sleep. I woke up again at 5:00 am. The contractions were still there, but still very irregular. Some every 6 minutes, but then not another for 25 minutes. I walked around. They didn't stop. I went back to sleep. I spent time watching Juniper sleep and holding her tight, feeling a little anxious about what was to come. Then, it was 7:00 am and all of a sudden they were coming 3 minutes apart again and again and again. I got up and they started to get stronger and were definitely not going away. I woke Zach up and told him I was pretty sure this time it was real.
Shortly thereafter Juniper woke up to see what was going on and so Zach made her breakfast (sausage, of course!) while I tried to get the last few things together for my bag. We made calls to the Dr's office and the midwife agreed, I needed to make my way to the hospital based on my consistent contractions.
We arrived at Alta Bates shortly after 9, and I felt like the intensity and frequency of my contractions had lessened. I really was so confused what was happening. After my water breaking had initiated my labor with Juniper, I knew I was in for a completely different ride this time. I arrived to an empty calm intake area with 12 empty beds, but by the time she could get me connected to the monitors, every single bed was full.
My nurse, Emily, arrived and escorted us to my birthing room, way back in the corner, next to the operating room, since I intended on having a VBAC. They don't tell you this when you arrive, but the doula who led my VBAC class had told us this would happen, so in case of emergency, hemorage, etc. they don't have to wheel you far. I was actually happy to be back in the corner, not because I was nervous, but because I was off by myself and felt like I had my own private wing. On the way she let me know that she was excited for my birth plan, she was excited for my VBAC, and that I could refuse the post birth bath for baby, so I could have more skin to skin time, but that the request would have to come from me. Done. I made the request.
Juniper had been doing great the whole morning. She didn't understand why my tummy was squeezing tight so often and why that was helping baby sister to come out, but she was so excited and was right by my side through all of it. She asked questions about the machines, was patient, calm, went potty when she needed to. I couldn't have asked any more of her. Around noon I decided it might be best for Juni to go back to our place with a friend since nap time was quickly approaching. I didn't want her to feel overwhelmed and I had this happy fairytale in my head of her being there for the birth, but things weren't progressing as quickly as I had thought they would, and I had no idea how long it would go on. Juni left around 1pm and was excited to go back to our place and play. I so vividly remember her being there and rubbing my back as I was up on the bed on all fours and then rubbing my leg through some tough contractions as I was standing saying to me, all on her own, "You're a good mama, you're a good mama, you're a good mama!" It brings tears to my eyes as I even type it now. I was thankful that she was there for a part of it, and thankful that she was excited, and not sad, to go home and play. She had been sitting around that room for long enough.
By the time Zach got back to the room after switching around her car seat I was on all fours, on top of the birthing ball, in the shower. I was starting to moan, and being encouraged to drink the homemade lemonade Zach had made for me, as my focus shifted to getting through each contraction. I remember Emily suggesting ways for me to "let it all out" and moan deeper and me telling her I couldn't moan any lower and her encouraging me again, and me getting a little more sassy and telling her I couldn't.
I stayed in the shower, in my zone, until 2 pm, when Emily suggested I get out as I was starting to feel pressure lower and lower. I climbed up onto the inclined bed and hung my head over the top, while sitting on my knees, and gripped my way through a few more contractions. At 2:13 my water broke and I felt pressure like never before in my life. After having my water break so soon with Juniper and dilating to a 9 before the cesarean, I thought the pressure would feel similar. It didn't. WOW. That was the moment when I lost it all. For a minute. And then I got it back.
Emily asked if I was ready to push and I so badly wanted to ask her how much longer she thought it would be, but I was terrified to hear the answer, so I didn't ask. I told her I was pushing (to relieve some of the pressure) not realizing she meant literally push the baby out! I rolled over onto my back, for the first time, and started to push. I couldn't get a good grip on my legs, so I ended up grabbing my ankles and making a diamond with my legs as I pulled my ankles up. I started pushing like I didn't know was possible. It all felt so normal, yet alien like, as I could feel Genevieve make her way down.
I remember hearing, "I hope you brought a brush for this baby," and "Beautiful, just beautiful, just keep doing what you're doing." Again, I had no idea how long this process would go on, as I've heard stories of women who pushed for hours or were told they were "crowning" and were no where close to baby coming out, so I was just trying to hang with the flow and keep things moving along. The nurse had called for a Dr. a couple of times, telling them she could see hair, but it was a BUSY morning in labor in delivery and the Dr. from my group was already helping 3 other mamas.
Before I knew it, a different Dr., the one I was hoping to avoid, walked in the room. However, right away I felt like he would be fine, partly because of the way my nurse had talked about him. And, after she had supported my birth plan, rubbed my back, and dealt with my sassiness, I trusted her. The Dr. asked if he had time to change clothes and was told he did, if he hurried. They then asked if a medical student could "witness the beautiful birth of my baby," and at that point I could care less. I was butt naked pushing this girl out. Whatever. Bring in an army. I shrugged them off, making them think I was saying no, but then I clarified, I just didn't care, and it was fine.
The Dr. was back in a minute and sat down in time to stretch me out in a way I hope I never need to be stretched again. Ouch. The nurse asked if it was okay if she put mineral oil on me, which I had no problem with. I felt so supported. I felt like they were all there to help me, to protect my body, and to get Genevieve out in the best way possible. Even though it hurt so badly, I knew he was doing it to protect my body. He assured me I was doing all the work and that once he had arrived it would only be 2 or 3 more pushes. Hold on. WHAT?!? I thought it would still be a couple hours. Okay, let's do this. And, the next push, here she comes!! :) :) :)
The Dr. told the nurse to lift her up onto my chest and the nurse says to me, "You do it! You grab your baby!" And so I did. I put my hands under her armpits and lifted her sloppy body up onto my chest. The specialist nurse who comes in just to monitor the baby after birth wrapped a blanket over her and rubbed her vernix into her as she dried her off. And there she stayed. I nursed her. I held her. I smelled her. I loved her.
Nurses changed shift. The next nurse was nice enough, but I thank every thankable option that she wasn't there for my delivery. My nurse suggested a shower as she left. The new nurse said no. It was obvious she followed a more rigid plan but still did a fine job of taking care of us and getting us to our room for the night. After I had been holding Genevieve for a couple hours she let me know that if I wanted her to give Genevieve a bath, she would need to do it then, as she would be moving us soon. I agreed, a quick, light bath was okay, and then she was quickly returned to my arms again with some vernix still on her.
We moved rooms around 5:30pm and then we called for Juniper to be brought back to us. She came back to us beyond excited to meet her baby sister and her eyes filled with wonder. After a couple hours Papa and Juni went home to rest (pass out). The night went well for all of us. The next day Juni and Papa stopped by Taco Bell, the same one Papa walked to after Juni's birth, for tradition's sake, and then we all spent the afternoon together at the hospital before being discharged (per my request) that evening. We were hoping to get out of there early afternoon, but my Dr's office didn't make their rounds until around 5pm. We did it! Our family of four was home.
I felt respected, encouraged, and supported throughout the entire process. I knew when I needed to speak up for my own concerns and needs and when I needed to trust those who were there because of their expertise and had my best interest at heart. I am thankful Juniper was there for a part of it. I am thankful she was able to go and play for the end of it. I am thankful for my husband. I am thankful for his patience, his confidence in me, and his ability to care for Juniper through the chaos. It was a beautiful day that I am so so thankful for.
Sunday night before going into labor. Juni started wearing her pajamas just like Mama (with just the top buttoned) :)
Monday morning before walking out the door to the hospital
Answering my curious girl's questions about the monitors
Sweet girl hugging Mama through contractions
shower water on back + birth ball + lemonade = fantastic
My hands lifting her out and up onto my chest
Hey baby girl!
Placenta
After peeing and pooping once already :) ...since she was just in my arms the first couple of hours
view from the hospital window
Juni giving her baby sister the bunny she made for her at Build-A-Bear
Papa love
The girls :)
The next afternoon trying to get Juni to take a nap
Our welcome sign from Papa and Juniper
